He Said Goodbye
by thedoctorsrose
Summary: He's in a hospital room, bandaged and bruised, his hand is being held by his angel and he's dreaming. Dreaming of a world where he and his angel never got back together, it had been the final goodbye. He dreams of standing at his angel's funeral, five years after the goodbye, but is it really a dream? And was it really goodbye? Klaine, trigger warnings inside, TBU reaction fic.


**Title: **He Said Goodbye

**Summary: **He's in a hospital room, bandaged and bruised, his hand is being held by his angel and he's dreaming. Dreaming of a world where he and his angel never got back together, it had been the final goodbye. He dreams of standing at his angel's funeral, five years after the goodbye, but is it really a dream? And was it really goodbye? Klaine, trigger warnings inside, TBU reaction fic.

**Warnings: **Suicide, cutting and child abuse.

**Authors Note: **I wrote this in psychology class for our Free Association journal, and I could not get it out of my head. So I edited it and made it better. This does have The Break-Up Spoilers in side obviously. And it's a bit weird seeing as I wrote it on a Wednesday morning at 9am so I was pretty tired. It has an OC kind of in it, for those of you who want to know, I based Chase (the OC) off of the guy who told Kurt to go binge shopping at the end of the episode. There. Now read! Also, I've never been to a funeral before so I don't know what the reverend says at the beginning, so sorry if I got the facts wrong.

* * *

"Dearly beloved, we are here today in remembrance of the late Kurt Elijah Hummel." The reverend said from the front of the church.

He couldn't believe it. He won't believe it. His angel was gone. The man who gave him the courage to confront his demons and face public school. The man who defended him even when the man's own step-brother was rude. The man who… He cheated on. He cheated on this angel because he was so alone. He and the angel broke up and the angel moved on. Several weeks after their breakup, Kurt's relationship status from single to in a relationship with Chase Mathers. He remembers crying that night, Sam his best friend, was at his side holding him tight… His angel.

Kurt and Chase were engaged when it happened. It had been five years since he cheated on Kurt, and on October 4th, 2017, Kurt – his angel – was gone.

According to Burt, Kurt didn't feel a thing. The impact from the subway car had been so strong that Kurt was gone before anyone could blink an eye.

"He was a kind boy from what I remember." The Reverend said, "Always asking me if a prince could be saved like a prince." The guests chuckled amongst themselves, despite the situation. "I hadn't seen him since he was sixteen. From what his Father told me, it's because he found someone to rely on at all times. Not just on Sunday's… As far as I know, he and this friend began dating. Today, he's here with us, Blaine Anderson, do you mind coming up here to say a few words about Kurt?" there was a silence throughout the funeral home.

Why would they ask him to talk? He hasn't talked to Kurt in five years. He stood up and he felt everyone's eyes on him, including his angel's widow (was Chase his widow?). He felt a hand on his shoulder, when had he gotten up to the front? The hand belonged to Kurt's old confidante, Reverend Johnson.

"You can do it, son." Reverend Johnson said, Blaine made a small smile. When he and Kurt were dating, his angel had told him about Reverend Johnson.

_He was my only friend up until sophomore year. He was really the only person I could tell about the bullies up until I met you, Blaine._

He stood up in front of everyone and took the microphone from the Reverend.

"K-Kurt was my bestfriend…" he paused, "He was my first love. I was awful to him; he didn't deserve any of it. One day I thought I was going to marry Kurt," His honey eyes flickered to Chase. "But instead he found this guy, I'm pretty sure he's awesome because Kurt would not deal with anything less." He saw Chase smile in the corner of his eye. "When Burt called me on the day of, I felt like my entire world had ended. My life is nothing without Kurt, even after I betrayed him. I was so stupid to do it, I'm a-always thinking back and wondering if I hadn't done what I did." He wiped his eyes. "My angel could still be here."

He saw Chase break down, he mumbled an "I can't." and ran out of the funeral home. He never deserved Kurt's love. He ran out into the parking lot, rain began beating down onto his face, he had only stood out there for a few seconds but his normally gelled down hair was soaking wet.

"Blaine…" he spun around and saw Chase standing before him. "Our engagement rings had honey jewels, his coffee turned from a Grande Non-Fat Mocha to a Medium Drip when he was having a bad day. Our cat's name is Harry Potter. He wanted to name our first baby boy together Toronto. A-And every time we made love he'd call me Blaine. He never knew because I never told him. One night he was sick, I took care of him. I gave him Tylenol, cough syrup and tums for his stomach ache. I tucked him back into bed, brushed is hair out of his eyes and kissed his forehead and do you want to know what he said? 'I love you, Blay' last time I checked my nickname wasn't Blay." Blaine crumped, "I don't think he ever loved me like he loved you."

"I'm so sorry Chase." Blaine whimpered.

"Don't be, I fell in love with a boy who was still in love with his high school sweet heart and he never fell out of it." Chase shrugged, "It was my mistake to propose to him."

"I'm sorry… You shouldn't have suffered for that long. It's my fault that I cheated on him; he deserved someone who wouldn't hurt him like I did—"

"Blaine you made one mistake, I made several. I saw the signs and I didn't do anything. He needed me and I did nothing. Blaine, I saw the scars on his wrists, I saw the weight falling off his body for weeks on end and I didn't do shit. He might have needed me, but he actually needed you. He needed his first true love, the man of his dreams and he couldn't have him because he was off in Broadway singing his heart out." Blaine said nothing and neither did Chase after a while. "I think he did it because he couldn't find you anymore."

"No… I hurt him—he was better off without me!" Blaine shouted, they were both drenched from the cold water falling from the sky in pellets.

"Was he?" Chase snapped, "If it weren't for you, my fiancé might still be alive."

"If it wasn't for me, neither of us would have gotten the chance to love him. I _saved _him." Blaine hissed and Chase rolled his eyes.

"Bullshit, Kurt didn't need you—"

"IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, KURT WOULD HAVE BEEN MURDERED!" Blaine screamed, Chase flinched at the intensity of his voice. "When I met Kurt, he was days away from doing something that would have killed him. When he tapped me on the shoulder at Dalton Academy, I saw the desperation in his eyes because I saw it in my own when I was fourteen. I saved his life, even if he had to have his first kiss stolen by a closeted asshole. I was the one who encouraged him to transfer to Dalton for those few months, I was the one who kissed him after his bird died, _I _was the one who gave him the courage to stand up in front of his entire school and accept the Prom Queen award. I don't care if you had Kurt for the last years of his life; I was the one who made him alive." Blaine's voice was raw from screaming.

"Blaine." Blaine's head jerked up, he thought he heard… No, he couldn't have.

"I love him." Chase said quietly.

"And you don't think I do?"

"At least I didn't cheat on him with some loser on Facebook." That was the last straw. Blaine had wanted to keep things civil between him and Chase, but now…

"You f*cking bastard!" Blaine charged at Kurt's last love, they tangled on the soaking concrete, throwing punches at each other. Before he even knew, he was being pulled off of Chase. It was a skinny girl he had never seen before.

"Get off my brother you jerk!" she yelled, Blaine looked up and saw a crowd around them, standing before him stood Burt, Finn, Carole and Rachel. Eyes full of sadness and hurt, for some reason. Chase scurried away and stood up; the girl started pounding her fists into Blaine's chest. "Who do you think you are? This is a god damn funeral for my former future brother in law! And you think you can just barge in and beat my brother up! I don't know who you are but I don't know why Kurt was friends with you!" she screamed, Blaine pushed her off of him like she was diseased.

"Come on baby, wake up." Blaine's heart rate went up; he thought he heard it again.

"Who are you anyway?" she hissed, "Because Kurt would never hang out with the likes of you. You're disgusting, you're worthless."

"S-Stop, I am not." Blaine took more steps away from the girl. "K-Kurt he loved me."

"No he didn't, he would never love you." The girl said. Blaine looked over at Burt, the older man who he once considered his father, was frowning.

"Get out of here Blaine." Burt snarled, "You ruined this funeral."

"No—Burt, Chase he was—"

"I don't give a damn what Chase did, you ruined this event now get out of here." Burt shooed him away, Blaine couldn't believe his ears.

"Blaine, please don't leave me, I love you." He heard it again, "I'm sorry I broke up with you."

"Kurt?" everyone around him made a face at him.

"What are you talking about Blaine?" Chase asked him.

"You were lonely and I was ignoring you…" It was Kurt. His angel…

He felt strange, as if he was teetering on the edge of life and death. He saw a bright light shining in front of him… What in the world was going on? He shut his eyes to block out the light, maybe it was the sun.

When he opened the eyes, he wasn't in the parking lot of the funeral home. He was laying in a hospital bed with bandages all up and down his arm, he had an IV in his hand and it hurt. Man did it hurt; he felt something squeezing his hand like it was a life line. He looked down at it and saw a pale creamy hand. He followed the hand up the arm to the hand's owner, it was Kurt. Why was Kurt crying? Why was his angel crying at his bedside? Kurt looked up at the movement on the bed, Kurt broke down. "B-Blaine!" he cried, he kissed Blaine's hand. "Thank God, I thought I lost you – I'm so sorry, baby, I shouldn't have left you." He rushed out, "You're my everything, I shouldn't have said goodbye, I love you so much." Kurt stared at him for a moment before saying. "Do you still love me?"

Blaine waited a moment, "What are you doing here?" he asked, Kurt's face crumpled into a frown.

"W-What do you mean?" Kurt said.

"You're supposed to be in New York, at Vogue." Blaine said, "You shouldn't be missing work, Kurt, you need to be there." Kurt's eyes welled up. Blaine casted his own eyes down. He remembers what happened.

Kurt had broken up with him, even after he apologised for what he did. Though no apologising would ever make up the fact that he had sex with Eli C. The entire time, he had a moaned out Kurt's name during the time with Eli. "_Kurt_, oh God baby, that feels so good." Eli had brushed it off since it was a hook up. But he also remembers the after math; he has the hurt on Kurt's face that night in New York etched into his mind for eternity. A week after that, Kurt broke it off and he said goodbye. The one word Kurt swore he would never say to Blaine. After that, Blaine's parents found him – since he had been staying at his Aunt and Uncle's after transferring to McKinley since they didn't approve of it. His father's fists pounded into his head. He cried out Kurt's name, even though Kurt would never care, his ex-boyfriend was in New York City living his dream at Vogue, and here he was. In Lima, Ohio all by himself, with his parents beating him to a pulp for: "Falling in love with that fag" and "being a f*cking faggot" and "transferring schools even though we've built up your entire career, how can you throw that away for just one person?". It had been done in a rush, after his parents left him alone, he slid into the bathroom and broke his razor. He can't even remember cutting himself. And he passed out he's guessing, and then someone found him, probably his cousin Anne. She probably called his Aunt and Uncle, who then called an ambulance. Somewhere in between the ambulance coming and him being brought to the hospital, his Aunt probably called either Burt or Carole, knowing very well that they should know. Burt probably called Kurt and Rachel, and Kurt left his job, which he shouldn't have done. Kurt should be in New York, not in Ohio worrying about his stupid ex-boyfriend who couldn't handle life.

"I'm here because I love you Blay, yes I love my job but that doesn't compare to how much I love you." Kurt said softly. "You're more important than a stupid internship."

"Don't say that, you need this internship, in a years-time you could be a fashion designer." Blaine told him, why didn't Kurt get it?

"Blaine, listen to me, I don't care about a bloody internship that might end up getting me a good job. What I care about is that fact that my boyfriend hurt himself to the brink where he almost died, that's what I care about. I also care about the fact that he would try something like this without telling someone – you could have told Sam about how you were feeling, baby. Or even me, I would have listened." Blaine mumbled something that interrupted Kurt, "What was that?"

"I called you… You wouldn't pick up." Blaine said a bit louder, "Why do you think I felt so bad? It was because the man of my dreams wouldn't pick up his goddamned phone just to say hello. Why do you think I f*cked Eli? Because my boyfriend never spoke with me anymore. Why do you think I hurt myself? Because the love of my life said goodbye to me and my parents think I'm a worthless piece of shit." He felt a pair of warm lips covering his, but as soon as they were there they were gone again.

"I'm so sorry Blaine, I'm so, _so _sorry. I love you so much and I knew you were upset when you left, I shouldn't have said goodbye. I shouldn't have done anything to make you feel as if I didn't love you. I know I was busy with Vogue, but I'm trying to make a life for us. The reason why I'm so busy is because I want you to be so happy when you come to New York next year. I want us to have an apartment to ourselves without Rachel and Brody. I want to be able to wake up to you and only you, not my best friend and her boyfriend. I want you to be happy there, I want to make your first impression of New York wonderful. I realise now that I should have told you that to begin with so this would never have happened…" the room fell into an awkward silence, Kurt was still staring at Blaine with his glasz orbs, while Blaine had his eyes pointed down staring at the IV in his hand.

"When I was passed out I had a dream you were dead. You had committed suicide five years after we broke up, you had been engaged to your co-worker Chase and I spoke at your funeral. I had to walk out because I was so upset about everything and Chase told me all the things you did that were related to me when you both were together. He then got mad at me because if it weren't for me… You'd still be there." Blaine said softly. "It was my fault you had committed suicide in my dream because I cheated on you." Kurt began rubbing the top of Blaine's hand with his thumb. "I-I thought I'd never see you again." Blaine's shoulders began to shake as he sobbed. "I thought I lost you."

Kurt knew that Blaine wasn't just talking about the dream; he was talking about their breakup. He sat an empty spot on Blaine's bed where he can sit without putting pressure on Blaine's bandaged arm. He rested his head on Blaine's shoulder and he felt Blaine relax at his touch. "You're never going to lose me Blaine."

"That's what you said about saying goodbye and then you said it." Kurt felt his heart breaking; he turned up his chin and kissed Blaine's cheek softly.

"We both made mistakes baby, but you know what? We're going to get through it together. I love you so much and I can't stand to be away from you. And I know that after we deal with what's going on, I'll have to go back to New York." Blaine whimpered at his words, "But listen, my heart will always be with you Blaine Devon Anderson." Kurt used his finger to force Blaine to look at him.

"My heart will always be with you two, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel." They laughed together quietly, Blaine saw Kurt's face turn from having a good time to serious. "Babe?"

"You need to promise me something Blaine, and I'll promise you the same." Kurt began, "If you're _ever_ feeling low enough to… Hurt yourself, you call me. I don't care whether we've broken up for some odd reason, you call me and I'll pick up. It doesn't matter whether I'm at work or singing on a Broadway stage, I'll always pick up. And if I am ever feeling that down, I hope that you'll do the same." Kurt finished and Blaine kissed him softly without moving his arm.

"I'll pick up the phone Kurt or even reply to a cryptic email that is probably a virus." Kurt leaned forward and they kissed softly on Blaine's hospital bed for a long time. They were reacquainting themselves. Kurt moaned softly as Blaine's tongue explored around his mouth, finding every little spot that he knew made Kurt's toes curl. Blaine pulled away suddenly with a gleam in his eye. "In my dream, Chase said that when you were feeling down you would buy a Medium Drip instead of a Grande Non-Fat Mocha."

"Okay…?" Kurt giggled quietly.

"You taste like a Medium Drip." Blaine told him, Kurt blushed brightly. "You drank one on your way here, didn't you?" Kurt avoided Blaine's honey eyes. "Babe…"

"Alright, I had one, I thought I had lost you and I was scared…" Kurt pouted and Blaine kissed it away.

* * *

It was a year later in New York City and Blaine and Kurt had their own apartment. Kurt had forgotten his keys that morning and Blaine locked up the apartment with his own keys, and walked to the offices. Kurt wasn't quite designing yet, but he wasn't an intern anymore. He was now an assistant to a very popular designer, the name of which Blaine can't remember. He strolled right into the office and opened up Kurt's office, Kurt was seated at his desk with a look of complete boredom on his face. In front of his desk stood a tall caramel skinned man with a suit on, he was making eyes at his angel. Kurt looked up at the door and his face broke into a smile.

"Blaine!" He stood up and hugged his fiancé, because yes, they were totally getting married.

"Hey babe." Blaine kissed his chastely; he felt the man's eyes on him. He felt as if he had seen them before. "Hi, I'm Blaine Anderson." He held out his hand for the man.

"Hello, I'm Chase Mathers." Blaine stared for a moment, and the man stared back. "Kurt, if you don't mind, I'd like those papers on my desk by the end of the day." He left the couple alone. Blaine said nothing.

"Blay? What's wrong?" Kurt asked concerned.

"When I had my dream in the hospital last year, I had never seen Chase before…" he said quietly, "he looks the same in real life."

Neither of them knew why Blaine had known what Chase looked like. Kurt had asked Chase, but Chase had never met Blaine before so he had no idea. The strange thing is, Chase does have a younger sister who has defended Chase when someone was being rude to him.

But… How does Blaine know that?

* * *

**End Authors Note: **Random and weird, I know. I have a tumblr now! **crisscolferklainewhatever . tumblr . com**, just take away the spaces!


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